Fcancerwith: Shopping on drugs

As I start Cycle 5 today, sitting in hospital waiting for the cold cap to be plopped onto my head, I found myself thinking about coping mechanisms — the little things that get you through particularly uncomfortable moments.

The cold cap doesn’t quite compare to post-surgery recovery or some of the other rough patches… but it’s still one of those times where you’re just desperate to find something, anything, that might help — even if it’s just a distraction.

Which brings me to the realisation that over the past few years, I’ve spent a lot of money on things I probably wouldn’t have bought if it weren’t for cancer, chemo, and steroids.

It reminds me of those early days with a new baby. You’re up at 3am, delirious, googling “lavender-scented teddy bear that mimics heartbeat” — anything that might help the baby — and you — sleep.

So, here’s a rundown of the good, the bad, and the random things I’ve bought while trying to feel better, stay sane, or just kill time:

🛞 Wattbike – Bought post-bowel surgery when running was off the cards. Lives in the garage and gets used (a bit). Paid for with health insurance cash!

🔥 Infrared sauna pod – Looks ridiculous in the house. Looks even sillier when I'm sat in it. Surprisingly effective. (Katy Read-Barrow: not a fan.)

💍 Diamond ring for my wife's 40th – Ordered while high on painkillers, post-surgery. To this day, I cannot recall how I managed to buy a real one online. (Katy Read-Barrow: much more of a fan.)

📿 WHOOP band – Another game changer.

💍 Oura ring – That was excessive... especially as I bought it without reading the bit about measuring for it first. That one went back.

🥶 Ice masks for face – Looks stupid. Very relaxing. Arguably didn’t need a pack with 3–4 different types in it.

🪑 Three different folding chairs – All in pursuit of the perfect Glasto companion / midday nap perch.

🧢 Multiple sun hats – At one point I had 4 to take back. Got a cracking one in the end though. Indiana Jones vibes.

🍫 Keto snacks – I’ve never spent so much on bread, jerky, and chocolate. All great. The 20 packs of jelly sweets that seem to cause excessive gas = less great.

🌱 Lawn obsession phase – This is recent. Includes a long-reach hedge trimmer (game changer), an aerator + scarifier machine (TBC — arrives today), 60 litres of soil/sand mix, and a very satisfying rake.

Do I regret any of the above?

Honestly — no. Even the most random stuff has probably helped in some way. Even if it’s just a distraction.

(Though thank f*** for free returns.)