Fcancerwith: Ummm... Adopting graves?! (Reality check post)

Feeling less smug about how well I’ve managed chemo right now. Been rough as a bear's arse since Thursday. Just taken my second day off work in a row—first time that’s happened in a long time.

I had to cancel a trip to Salcombe at the weekend. Then declined an invite to the F1 on Sunday. Two things I’d really been looking forward to.

You can track symptoms, log patterns, plan recovery windows... but chemo doesn’t give a f**k. I usually feel great at this stage of the cycle. But right now, I feel like I did back in cycle one. No idea why. No warning signs. Just flat. WTF?!

This whole weekend has been a reminder that even the best-laid plans and positive streaks can collapse without warning. And when that happens, it’s not just your body that slumps. Your brain follows. Fast.

Things I’ve Actually Thought About in the Last Few Days:

• What song do I want played at my funeral?

• Where would I like my ashes scattered?

• Would it be nice to have a memorial tree or bench... or is that annoying if your family move?

• How’s the right-to-die bill progressing?

• What happens to unattended graves?

• Should I adopt a grave?

Kind of bleak. Kind of funny. Definitely real.

It’s hard to sit in the middle ground on days like these. You oscillate between planning your next adventure and planning your funeral—sometimes within the same hour. The ordinary stuff, the LinkedIn-y stuff, feels far away. Meaningless, even.

But that’s the nature of chemo life. Peaks and valleys. Glastonbury one week. Sofa-bound the next. Thinking about cricket and cremation in the same breath.

So here’s the update. Nothing polished. Just where I am. Somewhere between sarcastic death-prepper and optimistic plan-maker.

#FCancerWithAI #ChemoThoughts #CancerDiary #MentalHealth #WorkingWithCancer #RealityCheck