Hello, It’s Good to Be Back

It’s Friday 19th September and I’m writing here again, after not being on LinkedIn or the blog for a while. The truth is, being off chemo has meant there’s less to talk about. My brain’s actually enjoyed taking a bit of a holiday from it all, and I’ve liked feeling something close to normal for a stretch.

That said, I’ve not exactly been idle. I’ve changed up everything I’m taking - drugs, supplements, off-label treatments - and it’s been a lot. The research, the ordering, the timing, the money, the mental load of keeping it straight. It’s been hard work.

And then there’s keto. Honestly, it’s been tough. Some days I can stick to it. Other days I go to the cricket club or I head to hospitality at West Ham for the first time and I completely fall off the wagon. It’s hard work to keep at it, and it takes more willpower than I’ve got most of the time. In turn, it's hard to commit to it when you aren't 100% convinced its doing any good... and when there's always someone willing to tell you it probably isn't.

But I am making progress on all of the above, and when I have more to say about any of it I will.

AI hasn’t been straightforward either. I still use it every day and its life changing, but I’ve fallen out of love a little. It’s brilliant for some things but, to be honest, it’s been pretty problematic when it comes to the complicated/detailed stuff - like tracking drugs, supplements, and off-label protocols. The memory issues mean I can’t rely on it in the way I’d like. My last chemo monitoring report did my head in. And then there are the daily annoyances: like the fact it thinks I’m Welsh over and over and over again, and I can’t do anything about it. That really does my head in. Add the usual errors, glitches, and shiny new tools that promise the world and deliver very little, and it wears you down a bit. It’s still useful, but I’m not sure I’ve nailed the best application of it for cancer and chemo (or work for that matter). That feels like something I need to reset on: looking at new tools, revisiting old ones, thinking about how they work together, but also knowing when to stop tracking every tiny detail before it kills the fun. If I’m going to keep using AI, I want it to be enjoyable and make a difference - not just another chore.

WHOOP has been frustrating too. During chemo, the data felt spot on. Now it just doesn’t add up. On holiday in France, I did nothing but drink beer, eat cheese, and loaf about — and got 90–100% recovery scores every day. Back home, exercising more, drinking less, going to bed earlier, trying to do everything right — and my recovery drops to 40–50%. It doesn’t make sense, and I’ve stopped looking in the mornings because I don’t want dodgy numbers dictating how I feel for the day ahead.

The other big thing is content itself. I don’t want to be another LinkedIn person filling a void with the same old posts, day after day, just to feed the algorithm. That’s not me. If I’ve got nothing to say, I’m fine not saying anything. Silence feels better than noise for the sake of it.

What I do want to talk about is work. Not chemo or treatment tutorials - there are plenty of people who do that better than I can. I want to write about how cancer affects working and family life. How it makes things harder, how it sometimes changes things for the better, and how employers, colleagues, friends and family can actually do better too. The reality of it. The good, the bad, and the dull. Not the sugar-coated, LinkedIn-friendly version where people say they’re glad for their cancer because it gave them perspective. I’d rather be healthy, thanks. I can still be intentional without pretending it’s a gift.

So that’s where I am. Back here, but in my own way. Not every week, not just for the sake of it, but when I’ve actually got something to add.

If you’ve come across any new tools - AI or otherwise - that you think might help with cancer, chemo, or just the general chaos of it all, let me know. I’m always up for trying things out, seeing what sticks, and sharing what actually makes a difference.

And perhaps most importantly - I need to sort some fucking merch out. It was the thing I was most excited about when I started this site, and it fell by the wayside. Time to pick it up again.